Mini Rants #55: Let Randomness Rule.
A short poem, a "short" list of names that need to cease to exist, and more.
Bonjour!
Welcome to the 55th addition of Mini Rants.
There are 3 more weeks left to 2023 and I’m looking forward to opening up some tamales and gifts pretty soon.
If you’re joining us for the first time, welcome. Every Friday I rant about my personal experiences or human behavior. I hope that you enjoy the rants.
Let’s get on with today’s post by starting with a short poem.
Bon Appetit!
Being Confident for the 1st Time?
I’m becoming confident for the first time1. How though?
Was it the piece of metal around my neck that’s made me confident or did my willingness to be vulnerable do that?
Maybe it was the rings and the bracelets that allowed me to show off my personality… or maybe it was the silly videos, podcasts, and posts I created.
Maybe it was the way I styled my hair… or maybe it was because I laughed about how worried I was about some random hairs standing up.
Maybe I’ve been able to charm others long enough… or maybe it’s because I took a deep breath and relaxed.
Confidence can be learned. Confidence can’t be bought. No Rolex, foreign car, or 24k chain can help you gain it.
Hell, even liquid confidence is temporary, and it takes no damn skill to earn it.
I’m terrified of where this confidence will take me. Maybe I’ll grow up and knock down some goals. It takes confidence to accomplish big things.
Maybe I’ll be a better person. Confidence makes one fun and safe to be around.
I’d say, “Look out, world”, but I’m not that damn confident… not yet at least.
Young confidence suits me for now.
Declaring War on Names
I used to hate my name. Cristobal is Christopher in Spanish.
Oops, now you know that my name isn’t Crush.
Despite Cristóbal’s Greek origin meaning “bearing Christ”, its popularity in Spain, and the fact that it belonged to one of history’s most terrifying mass murderers greatest explorers2, I cringed when anyone who didn’t speak Spanish or who was a bully called me that.
After being subjected to many fortune teller and testicle jokes for years by morons with weirder sounding names (Esai, Bixler, and Effren), I’ve decided to go by Cris for years.
I didn’t mind it. Hell, I ended up taking on “Crush” too because my niece and nephew had a hard time saying “Cris”.
No one calls me Cristobal anymore. Not even my Jefa (mom) and Abuelos.
As an adult, I’ve grown to embrace its “uniqueness”. I’m fortunate enough to have been given this name by my grandfather, who I consider my father.
While I’m probably the last person to say this, some names must die off.
It’s not because they’re trash, but because some dick head bully or society will make fun of them. While bullying strengthens the soul and in some ways, it’s needed, children already have much to handle.
We all have every right to be unique, but maybe we can scale back on the crazy names.
I have a list of names that can be laid to rest.
King- That name doesn’t have much meaning since kings aren’t too common. Hearing this name makes people do one of two things:
They’ll either call the person named King something derogatory or they’ll think “King” is egotistical and possibly a narcissist… to no fault of their own… unless they’ve been diagnosed with a Cluster B personality disorder3!
Willow- Will Smith’s childish actions on national television are to blame for my hatred for this name.
Sapphire/Diamond/Opal- Precious and hard metals or stones for a fleshy human’s name? Nope.
Hermes or Orion- Gods and Constellations? Only works for indestructible people and there aren’t that many around.
Cedar- You’re a human being. Not a damn tree.
Napoleon/Benito- Naming your kid after a “short” military savant or an Italian fascist isn’t as cool as it used to be.
Dick- You’re Richard, Rich, or Richie. You’re not a damn penis… unless you’re a dick to people, then you deserve to be called that.
Anything Star Wars Related (Ben Kenobi included)- I know we all love or know Star Wars in some form, but any kid named Mace or Palpatine is going to get his ass kicked.
Anything Harry Potter Related- This poor kid is friends with the Star Wars kid, so they’ll get a share of the ass-whooping.
Biblical Names (Samson, Santiago, Cristobal, Job, Ham)- I’m all for “bearing Christ”, permitted that I get to rant and complain all day. Also, “poor” GG Allin for being given the name “Jesus Christ” and for almost being killed by his father. He had every right to become the greatest degenerate in rock history.
Any Name Chosen by a Name Generator- You poor souls. You can’t even think for yourselves.
Most names are okay, but I recommend parents or prospective parents to keep their children from these names.
By the way, I’m an idiot. Don’t listen to my opinions.
Rapid Fire Rants
Speaking of idiotic opinions, here are a few more:
A former professor took shots at innocent near the University of Nevada in Las Vegas. 3 people were slain, and another was injured. Screw that fuck head academic for thinking that violence was an appropriate response to his life falling apart. Now the endless arguments about gun laws are starting up again.
New York bodega owners and workers are trying to unite to apply for their concealed carry permits in one of the strictest states in America. They’re getting fed up with being robbed or shot for cash or items in their store, so they want the means to defend themselves from harm. I wish them good luck in this endeavor. I hope they never experience robberies, but hopefully, they’ll be prepared and trained to handle the threat.
The Call of Duty Mobile World Chat section has me hoping for the aliens to come and eradicate this world. If you don’t play COD (or video games) on mobile, you’re lucky.
Nearly all of us can make an informative or funny YouTube short without much effort. Why not waste time making silly videos instead of watching them?
Memento Mori as a philosophy principle, needs to be taught in school. Maybe kids will take their schoolwork seriously.
My brain goes into overdrive trying to remember some of my favorite quotes but has no problem remembering memes from over a year ago. Our mobile devices are like drugs, boys and girls. We must break free.
That’s all the ranting I have for today, folks.
Enjoy your weekends and stay safe.
Until next time.
Adios!
-Crush, Cristobal, Cris, or Whatever
I could stand to learn a thing or 2 from a lot of people.
The terrible Cristobal Colon, aka Christopher Columbus, aka the scammer, turned explorer turned mass murderer. He would be selling crappy online courses if he were alive today.
That’s still not their fault.