Mini Rants # 6
Podcasting in a Closet, Video Games, and Cats running around at 3 AM.
Yo!
Welcome to another edition of Mini Rants!
Every Friday, I rant about things/people/events that irked me throughout the week.
This is the last week of September. Two months to go before the year ends. Sure, gas is going up (again), the stock market and crypto are tanking hard, but we will make it through the rest of 2022 with memes and peanut butter sandwiches… and lots of Jack Daniel’s.
Also, I’m planning on doing more voiceovers to my posts in the near future. This is my first attempt at doing so.
Anyways, onto the rants.
Rant #1: Ranting in the Closet
I’ve been podcasting regularly for the past 9 months after taking a long break for unknown reasons. Maybe I was just lazy or maybe I couldn’t find it in my heart to create more content1.
I have loads of fun ranting away about random topics or being a terrible motivational speaker.
I’m finally going to get some upgraded hardware (microphones and headsets) this coming month for my birthday. I felt that this year would be a good time to gift myself something I’m going to want/need for years to come.
The reason that my podcasting has made it into this week’s mini rants is because I didn’t have a central location to do the damn show until I found one in my home that was too obvious!
My podcasting was done either in my car, walking around the neighborhood, or in my room.
As you can see there, are problems with each of these locations.
If I am in the car, I’m blowing the A/C pretty high. That gets noisy.
If I’m walking around, I have cars flying past me as I record, dogs barking, lawnmowers rumbling, and much more to contend with.
Finally, my room is filled with hungry pets who will stop at nothing to make sure their bowl is filled all the way to the top… even if it’s 3/4 of the way full.
All sorts of noise can cloud your thoughts and that becomes a distraction when it comes to your creativity.
I was frustrated about the locations, and I didn’t know where I could get a decent spot… until I discovered the closet.
Sure, it might get cramped in there. I might sweat profusely. I might have to stand in it. But I feel good recording there now.
I’ve already done two episodes in the closet and I don’t feel embarrassed to say I like it.
I’ll find somewhere to hang my microphone and laptop setup so I can still use it, but the closet works for now.
If you aren’t out there making podcasts or vlogging in your closet, you’re missing out. It’s an underrated set up to build your brand.
And don’t worry about sounding like “dog sh*t”, just improve a little something in everything you create as time goes on.
Rant # 2: Die Over and Over Again
I find peace when it comes to button mashing on some Metal Slug.
Metal Slug is a run and gun game and is deceptively hard.
To this day, I don’t think many fans care for the story as much as they care for the sheer absurdity of the game.
It’s one of the few game genres outside of fighting games that I find equally entertaining and frustrating.
You’re ducking every which way dodging tiny bullets and your eyes are darting back and forth to find a large horde of enemies spawning from God knows where. One hit from an enemy and your character falls over and screeches. I’ve grown numb to their screams.
Don’t even get me started with the bosses in the game. One minute you’re fighting a large plane, the next minute you’re shooting a tank-like monstrosity hoisted by a large crab, or a comically huge robot launching missiles and shooting lasers at you. Prepare to die a lot.
I keep coming back to this damn game despite dying at least 200 times every time I turn it on2.
I go through this silly suffering when I play Ninja Turtle beat ‘em up games as well3. It’s just fun to mash buttons that make your character punch, kick, slash, stab, and tackle those pesky ninjas. But no matter how much I mash the A or B Buttons, I’m getting my ass kicked up and down New York City. Another theoretical quarter is inserted.
What makes this mindless button mashing seem like a useful waste of time is that I will mute the game audio and listen to one of the dozen audiobooks that I have stored in my phone. Because I’m just mashing buttons, I can concentrate on becoming an empathic communicator4… while shouting profanities at the computer enemies.
People need to just play them more. Screw these shooter games, play some boomer run and gun games!
It’s a good ol’ time once you get over the multiple deaths of your poor character and the fact people were dropping serious coin to pass this game in arcades so many years ago.5
Rant # 3: Cat Paws on the Face
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I love my cats to death.
They give me love in some of my lowest moments and they provide simple comedy when they chase lasers.
But my cats have caused me pain as well! They have broken skin because I pet them a bit too much. They bang their paws against the door when they want to be let into their room ten minutes later after going out.
A few things I think cat owners don’t talk often about is the amount of cat breath, butts, or paws land on your face at 3 AM. I’ve gotten hot breath blown in my face as I wake up. I’ve woken up to feel my blanket covered in cat saliva from a suckling session.
I hate when I see the cats nap at 11 AM because I know that they’re going to be pouncing around the room and hallway while I’m sleeping and having sweet dreams.
I have a cat tree next to my side of the bed so I’m asking to be woken violently. When a 4-pound missile lands on your face, you tend to see RAGE. My cats also have no respect for me since they use my big belly as a launching pad to the top of their tree. I’ve even seen the said 4-pound missile get pushed from the top by one of the older cats because they’re butt faces, landing with claws out on my head.
I’m ranting about these little fur balls because I’m starting to see that dogs aren’t as bad as they seem. My little Pepper Perkowitz (pictured above) gets riled up when they disturb her sleep as well. Her barking and growling as she begins to fight back is just more chaos.
Pets are just such little bundles of joy and you should love to have them in your life (proceed to give Bucky and Stark death stare they walk by my “work” area).
Bonus Rant: The Loud Neighbor.
One of the stresses of apartment living besides not having a yard or a place to grill meat, is the fact that you can hear loud noises through the walls.
I don’t want to crap on this too much, but one of my neighbors gets a bit too busy doing the dirty and is very vocal about it.
It’s only become an issue because my podcasting studio (my bedroom) has been infiltrated by the sounds of sexy time, which is another reason I moved to the closet. Also, because my niece and nephew might have noticed it too.
I don’t think anyone had the guts to tell her to shut her mouth. She can do whatever the hell she likes in her apartment. Hell, my dogs can get annoying to hear when the trash truck arrives. It’s just that dogs barking and getting your brains scrambled6 are two different things. One should be kept private.
Bless her heart.
That wraps up another edition of Mini Rants!
I hope you enjoyed it and if you want to read more rants, be sure to subscribe and tune in next week for more Mini Rants!
Adios!
If you hate loud neighbors or dying a lot in video games, go ahead and share this post with some of your friends and fellow degenerates!
The podcast is the same name as the publication (This is Your Mind Ranting). Some of the episodes are rough, but that’s how you have to start.
I counted on paper the number of deaths I had because I wanted to see how many quarters I would be wasting if I played this game in an arcade. It would equal to about $20 bucks in quarters. Metal Slug on Xbox costs about 10 dollars and you can die over and over without lightening your pocket change.
I usually play as Michelangelo because nunchakus are just fun. I used to have a pair as a kid, and they were my favorite toy. A shame that they’re illegal, but I can own (and I do) firearms.
I’m listening to Marshall Rosenberg’s “Non-Violent Communication” because I’m open to becoming less of a buffoon when it comes to speaking.
My rant is about the game’s difficulty and the number of quarters one would have to waste to beat the damn thing because you’re busy dying. Either that, or I suck at it.
That sounds worse than straight up saying the woman has a lot of sex.